Sh*t Randonneurs Say
by Cheryl Lynch (& Bob & Chris & Dug)

Here's a thread from the internal club exec mail list, starting with Cheryl.
[EF]

We should make a video and put it on youtube shit randonneurs say. Check out shit triathletes say:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1KTEgLKhjIw

Seems like they need to be about 3-4 minutes. I'd suggest Ross, Luis, Alex, Ali etc as potential actors!

I think it could actually attract people to our sport!! Well maybe...

Here are some ideas (the order needs to be worked on):
- how far to the next control
- what distance do you have
- I think we missed a turn
- You skipped a line
- I think the control card is wrong
- are those 32s
- I love my brooks
- how do you like those fenders
- what do you have in your bottles
- do you have any food
- how far to the next control
- I could use a coffee
- it was like being in a washing machine for 12 hours
- the last 2 hours were dry
- we had headwinds all day
- the winds were mostly unfavourable
- are there any booties that keep your feet dry
- is that jacket breathable
- can you feel the friction from your generator hub
- another fucking hill
- who designed this course, there is a perfectly flat road just over there
- how far to the next control
- I forgot sunscreen
- I remember when we had to carry D batteries for lights on a 600
- left
- right!
- clear
- tracks
- gravel
- car back
- does that mirror distract you
- where are we
- Sedro Woolley again?
- I think I have a slow leak
- are you going to sleep
- where are you going to sleep
- did you see that dead cougar
- did you see that dead bear
- did you see that dead rattlesnake
- it was snowing at the summit
- I hate chipseal
- I hate rumble strips
- this shoulder is shit
- the scenery on that brevet was spectacular
- what a gorgeous day
- what a gorgeous morning
- what a gorgeous night
- what a gorgeous sunset
- what a gorgeous sunrise
- this pace is too fast
- we need to keep moving
- is that bagbalm you're using
- I swear by bodyglide
- I forgot my passport
- I forgot my shoes
- I left my booties at home
- I forgot my helmet
- I forgot my bottles
- I'm starving
- how far to the next control
- where are we going to eat
- have you done PBP
- are you doing Rocky
- are you going over for Hell Week
- do you have a fleche team
- do you have a pen

And a few more from Bob Goodison:

- Your mudflap is too short.
- Glass!
- You have snot on your shoulder.
- I have to stop and pee.
- Do you have any ibuprophen?
- Why isn't it getting light out yet?
- We'll warm up once the sun comes up.
- It will be cooler once the sun goes down.
- Are you sure this is the right road?

This gem from Chris Cullum:

- I just puked on my control card

Dug Andrusiek suggests you have a look at this:

Shit Cyclist Say

And then another 22 from Chris Cullum:

- Who the hell made this route sheet?
- Is there a Tim Hortons near here?
- Is there anything other than a Tim Hortons near here?
- No it's not a <insert disease here> charity ride
- Just a club ride, you know, for fun
- 200/300/400/600/1000/1200km
- Is that waterproof?
- Does that breathe?
- Merino wool is the best
- Is it ever going to stop raining?
- Didn't we have a headwind on the way out as well?
- Your fender is rubbing
- My light is not working
- What gearing do you use?
- What chain lube do you like?
- How many k's do you get out your tires/chain/cassette/rims?
- I'm trying a new saddle
- Why am I doing this?
- This is supposed to be fun?
- You finished before the worst of it
- I really suffered out there
- When is the next brevet?