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Around the Bend
Trio ... A Fantasy
by Ken Bonner
CRASH!! BANG!! THE GROUND SHUDDERS! Huge bolts of lightning blaze
amongst the dark clouds scudding across sky .... were-wolves,
eyes flashing in the dark, teeth dripping blood from their fresh
kill, bay into eternity. Wait, there are lights in a cabin nearby,
and the innocent cry of a newborn is heard ... hope for a fresh,
new world!
By extreme coincidence, three of our hard-working, behind the
scenes BC Randonneur members were born on such a night (different
years, mind you). Destined by their birth environment to roam
the planet as randonneurs, unconsciously searching for the perfect
ride, but eternally reliving the circumstances of their birth.
Who are these "driven" innocents? Let me introduce
you to "CH-E-R" (note:not a brevet!):
Cheryl Lynch, former bicycle racer, is the Club's
official bike helmet-tester ... give her your expensive helmet
and she will test it to see if it protects your head. Cheryl
is now working on her 5th helmet having found that the previous
4, although meeting the SNELL standard, crack very easily. The
"Cheryl Test" for determining cycle helmet safety is
not based on theoretical engineering considerations ... she goes
for practical-testing hitting pavement, car or other hard surface
with her head in the helmet!! *(see end of article for details)
This does have its rewards, as she now rides a shiny new titanium
LiteSpeed (the result of her last helmet test). However, there
are downsides to this method of helmet-testing .... it can affect
the functioning of the brain! In Cheryl's case, the first symptom
has become an obsession with numbers .... the Club quickly took
advantage of this peculiarity and for a number of years, Cheryl
has been the Czarina of the Club's data-base, keeping track of
everyone's brevets, corresponding with her French ACP counterparts
and generally carrying out her under-cover duties for CSIS. The
second symptom has developed into a compelling urge to compete
in triathlons ... to the extent that she is passing up the opportunity
to ride LEL again this year! However, dear reader, we know the
circumstances of her birth will lead her back into the dark world
of randonneuring .... she cannot escape her destiny!
Eric Fergusson, former lay-about tennis player,
plays support person to Siân's marathon performances. In
exchange for this undying love and attention (and his charming
way with words), Eric pursues his birthright with great energy
and a certain "joi de vivre", racing (oops! participating
in) brevets with high hopes of relaxing with the perfect cup
of espresso/latte & a croissant at the next control (which
always turns out to be an "AM/PM"; or 7-11).
In 2004, Eric had a close brush with common-sense. Riding in
the dark, on his "umpteenth" Fleche Pacifique, through
the traditional freezing "Fleche rain", he was influenced
by past President, Michel Richard, and came in out of the rain
and spent a most unrandonneur-like evening sleeping in a warm
bed and eating a nourishing breakfast upon waking. As a result
this past year has been full of angst for Eric. Sleepless nights,
tossing and turning ... destiny cannot be thwarted. This year,
Eric chose both to ride a tandem; and with tandems. Tandem riders
are tough. You, dear reader, will be over-joyed to learn that
Eric with the help of Team Tandem came through, and now feels
at peace with himself!
Even with the "monkey on his back", or maybe because
of it, Eric has blessed the Club with an incredibly detailed,
creative, informative and changing web-site as the Club's webmaster.
The Club even officially recognized Eric's contribution to the
Club!! Be careful when riding with Eric ... he carries a Blackberry
(or is it a Blueberry?) on his bike, (ostensibly for emergencies)
as he is prone to enter gossip on the Club's website while riding.
This can be found under "Instant Replay" on the Club's
website .... sorry .... I forgot ... that part of the website
is only available to special people who pay Eric a "little
on the side" .... ever notice how Eric always rides a shiny
new bike that he says he built from used parts .... just little
perks of the job!
Robert (Bob) Marsh, you know him, the guy with
the big, booming voice who always seems to emerge out of the
rain, or when you are in a funk, with a jovial, uplifting presence,
often with his wife Patti in tow. Got a problem? Bob will help
out ... Patti will give you something to eat and Bob will give
you the shirt off his back -- don't take it if he's been riding!!
Bob is still working on persuading Patti to join him in the joys
of his birth destiny ... he's managed to get her on a tandem
for fun-rides, and he is gradually introducing the concept of
"real-fun" rides (brevets) .... so far, his
tales of forever tail-winds on pleasantly-warm sunny days are
not quite doing the trick.
It is reputed that Bob's garage is over-flowing with bikes and
bike parts, so if you break-down on a brevet, just phone Bob
and he will have you on the road again ... of course, you need
his phone number. Unfortunately it is unlisted. He has received
threats of further bodily harm by some folks from Surrey who
threw some party-ice at him during the 2004 Fleche Pacifique
-- unfortunately for Bob it was a block of ice! The good part
was that a police cruiser came by and Bob registered his concern.
The bad part is that the Surrey "fun-lovers" did not
like the police interference. Bob avoids Surrey .... well, not
all of Surrey, he has been testing the waters with South Surrey
and things are working out o.k. ... no ice there .... just cold
water.
You will have a chance to meet Bob and Patti at the upcoming
Cache Creek 600 brevet. At the Start, Spence's Bridge and at
the Finish! You will see what a great team they make in making
you, the rider, feel more optimistic as you over-come the adversities
of the ride.
Like Eric, Bob has been having some sleep-deprived nights as
he has eased off on his brevet riding this year (could it be
the block of ice incident?). Apparently he is spending a lot
of time channel-surfing in the wee hours of the morning, dreaming
of slogging through yet another cold rainy night. On occasion,
Bob has experienced bouts of "sleep-riding" on rain-soaked
nights, but Patti has caught him in the driveway before he made
it to the street. It is rumoured that PBP 2007 may be in the
cards, so Bob should settle down soon as he gets back in the
saddle again.
So there you have it .... star-crossed randonneurs who contribute
to making the wheels and gears of the Club run smoothly.
*p.s. from Cheryl: "helmets DO crack quite easily....
One was cracked after overlapping a wheel on a training ride,
basically falling over going quite slowly! One was when I crashed
in a crit and broke my pelvis (my first crash, road rash everywhere
but the helmet felt like a pillow under my head as I skidded
across the pavement), one was on a Saturday AM ride when I ended
up with a whopper of a black eye after some guy's front quick
release quickly released in the middle of the pack, probably
needed a new one after going through a rear windshield of a hatchback
on Broadway in the rain when the guy stopped right in front of
me to get a parking spot, definitely needed one after the fateful
400 finish in 2002. Ah.. the fond memories of past crashes...
I guess it is like childbirth, they don't seem so bad in hindsight!
May 24 2005
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